Diamonds and Coal

Coal to Ross Cheit’s Good Government class.

Coal to zero diamonds or coal submissions all summer long.

Coal to the course catalogue for putting Engineering AFTER English. I comes before L, silly.

Coal to my spending practically every minute of the past week in the rock, and the donut run happening the one night I take a break early.

Diamond to the beautiful weather; coal to the people who aren’t taking advantage of it!

Coal to the Ratty for substituting cavatelli for gnocchi hours before the end of lunchtime. Bullshit, Ratty. You’re on notice.

Coal to the “Official Spring Weekend Sun Glasses” the class boards are hocking, unless they come with Official Spring Weekend Cyanide Pills.

Coal to the Spectator for referring to people who aren’t Asian “round-eyes”. Did you think we wouldn’t notice the racism?

Coal to Jo’s for cooking the cookies all the way through. Leave ‘em soft and delicious, I’ll roll the dice on salmonella.

Coal to whichever of my suite’s three couples managed to get chocolate syrup on the shower curtain and didn’t clean it up.